Getting in gear.

I had one of the best IM conversations with an old friend from DC last night. We talked about 'old times' and how surprisingly, to me at least, how much he cherished our friendship. He was one of my earliest introductions into the DC 'party scene' about 4 or 5 years ago. He hosted an after-hours party (my first ever attended) where there were dozens if not hundreds of people crammed into a little 2 bedroom condo on an unassuming winter Sunday morning just sitting and gossiping and listening to music. After a full night of clubbing and being strung out on crystal meth, and ecstasy, and whatever other combination of letters in the alphabet -- what else is there to do, right? Anyway, as our IM session continued, he mentioned how much he's changed both physically and mentally and how he's lost a few friends and acquaintances along the way since his own departure from DC. "Discount drugs can only get you so far." was a quote from him that stuck to me the most. I was like, "Whoa!" We were almost having the same experiences POST-party scene. Not that I personally sold drugs or anything, I did run in the same circles, though, where I was privy to getting them with general ease. In my personal growth from being just a shy little nobody in the clubbing world, I did eventually get to the point where I would go out and about and actually KNOW dozens of people out in the clubs. A little nod here, a hug there, and quite a few air kisses in the crowds. It was kind of crazy but I did know it was because of being a part of the 'party world'. In the long run, though, I took it as what it was - nothing more or nothing less. These club acquaintances weren't necessarily real friends per se, but I know my IM buddy was definitely a FRIEND!

We chatted for a little while more and he also said, "I'd probably be DEAD now if I had stayed in DC." WOW. Talk about food for thought, huh? We both had our own personal reasons for leaving it all behind and moving on. As for myself -- I just needed to get myself back into gear. At the point where I left, I was pretty much jobless for about a year or so. Partying without any real form of income got really complicated and difficult living day to day. Coming to Los Angeles was a big ol' time out in more ways than one. I'm glad to say that both myself and my friend finally had some sense to come to terms with our destructive behaviors. Don't get me wrong, though. It's not my place to pass judgment on others for what they do. The whole drugs and partying were a major part of my life in the past where I had a lot of fun. Do I still do them now? No. Would I do them again? Hmmmm, probably. There's a time and place for them I suppose. But it's now been another year after my big move and I'm sitting here thinking, "Where to now?" I have a job now that I can say that I enjoy but financially isn't cutting it for me. Thank goodness I still have family behind me with a great living situation but I'm pushing 40 this year! I seriously have got to break free and get out on my own again real soon. Today after work, I spoke with one of my part-timers who works for an employment agency during the day. She mentioned a good lead with a major company here as a contract worker with excellent pay. I just need a game plan. It's time!